Kristi Powell

Guaranteed by Blood

Since I was fourteen, scribbling the first inklings of a story sparked by Tolkien’s magical tales, I dreamed of sharing my writing with the world. However the business world and publishing scared me. To this day I have no business savvy. I sent a couple chapters of a novel off to a literary agent when I was in high school and he was interested in working with me. I sent back a hasty refusal, afraid of misunderstanding the contract and getting duped.

As believers, we have the great blessing of knowing that we have a good God who is a faithful Father. We needn’t fear or worry about getting tricked or taken advantage of. He sets out his love and purpose clearly in Jesus Christ, giving us guarantees for life here and the eternity to come.

We only have these guarantees because of the life, death, and resurrection of his Son Jesus Christ. When Jesus became flesh and walked on earth, he lived a perfect life, not falling short of the glory of God like every other human being in history (Rom. 3:23). Jesus died the death we deserve and rose again to life, ascending to heaven and promising to return and usher his Kingdom in its fullness, bringing us into eternal life with him.

The Bible says that whoever believes in Jesus will not perish (John 3:16). We must confess with our mouth that Jesus is Lord (surrendering our lives to him), and confess with our mouths that God raised him from the dead (Rom. 10:9). All who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved (Rom. 10:13). This is through grace and faith alone, not by works so that no one can boast (Eph. 2:8-9). This is good news for the world, the ultimate hope and joy for the believer!

Guaranteed

These guarantees are not exhaustive, nor in the order of importance. If you are a believer, read and take heart! Soak in these sweet and precious promises that were bought with the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

If you trust in Jesus, your sins are forgiven and you are saved. (John 3:16, Rom. 10:9, John 14:6, 1 John 1:9)

We are at peace with God. There is no more condemnation or shame because Jesus bore it all on the cross when he died. (Rom. 1:18, 8:1, Rom. 5:9 )

We have the Holy Spirit dwelling in us, the very Spirit of God. He will never leave us nor be taken away. (John 14:26, Eph. 1:13)

God gives us everything we need to live a godly life here on earth, though perfection will only be attained when we reach heaven. (2 Peter 1:3, 2 Timothy 2:16-17, Phil. 1:6)

God is always faithful to his people and promises. (Ps. 25:10, Deut. 32:4, Ps. 111, Is. 25:1, Lam. 3:22-23, 1 Cor. 1:9, 1 Thess. 5:24, 2 Thess. 3:3, Heb. 10:23)

After we die, we will have eternal life with God. (John 14:2-3, Rev. 7:9-17, 2 Cor. 5:1, Phil. 3:20, 1 Peter 1:4)

Amen! Glorious truths!

Not Guaranteed

Sometimes we allow our own ideas wiggle in. These are some things that we as believers may think are guaranteed, but are not, according to God’s inerrant Word.

Spouse and children – Though they are sweet and amazing gifts from God, we aren’t promised these things. God ordains, gifts, and uses single people, both in seasons and lifetimes, for his glory. He opens and closes wombs in his sovereignty and goodness.

Salvation of our family members/children – The Bible doesn’t guarantee that all of our family members will be saved, even if they are raised in a Christian home. Salvation belongs to God alone.

Safety and Security – “The safest place to be is in God’s will” is not in the Bible. God sometimes brings us to dangerous, unsafe places to display his glory to the world. A sweet sister from India told me once that her village would’ve never heard the Gospel unless Christians were obedient and went to her remote, difficult to reach region to share the good news with her people. A believer’s hope is not in security systems, safe neighborhoods, or packing heat in our holsters. Our hope is that even when things get scary, God is bigger and has a plan to use it for his glory. We shouldn’t rush into dangerous places unwittingly, but we cannot shirk obedience merely because we don’t feel safe.

Comfort – Ah, one of the devil’s most subtle, effective weapons. We are not promised comfort in this world. Fullness of joy, great hope and peace, but not comfort.

Wealth and Prosperity – Jesus said it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God (Mark 10:25). God owns all things in this world, but he isn’t in the business of lining our pockets. While wealth is a gift and blessing to use for Kingdom of God, it is not a guarantee nor proof of great faith.

Health and Healing– The Gospels are full of accounts of Jesus healing people. One of his main public ministries was healing the masses, so much so that he had to slip away to get rest! We live in a fallen world with flawed bodies that get sick and broken. God instructs us to pray for healing, but it is not guaranteed, nor is lack of healing a lack of faith. We can have all the faith in the world that God can heal us, yet he may allow the ailment to linger for his sovereign purposes. In these times we must trust him for sustaining grace and the final healing that will come when God resurrects our bodies and we are made perfect, like Christ.

Being well liked – This is a tough one for me. I love people thinking well of me. We are told to love one another like ourselves (Matt. 22:39) and to live at peace with one another as far as it depends on us (Rom. 12:18), but we are not promised to be respected and liked. In fact, Jesus warns us that we will be be hated and persecuted by the world if we follow him. (John 15:18-20).

Results from Spiritual Labor – If I mix butter, sugar, eggs, flour, baking soda, vanilla, and salt together, I get sugar cookies. Sweet, tangible results. Spiritual results are not so clear, nor are we guaranteed to see them this side of eternity. Yet God promises that he will reward the faithfulness of his people in heaven (Matt. 6:4,6,18, 10:42, Luke 6:35, Col. 3:23-24).

Thankful Hearts

I pray these guarantees (and the not guaranteed) lift your soul. We have busy lives, and its easy to skim over these sweet truths. I encourage you to read the verse references. Don’t take it from me! Bask in the beauty of God’s Word. May these guarantees fuel a heart of thankfulness for our Savior who died and rose again in order to secure them for us, for God’s great and marvelous glory!

“You’re not from around here…”

Down the street from where we studied Arabic, my friend and I stepped into a sandwich shop. It was our first week living in Africa and in the matters of language and culture, I functioned like a two year old. I rattled off my order for a tobouna shwarma (shwarma sandwich on a round bread) and a soda and paid the equivalent of $3 for the entire meal. I accepted the receipt and we stepped back to the wall to await our order.

None of the employees began preparing the food. The workers began to crack smiles and laugh with one another. Finally, someone told us that we needed to give our receipt to another employee behind the sandwich bar to start our order. Pink with embarrassment, we handed them over. This was not my last “dumb American” moment.

Being a foreigner means you stand out. You don’t talk the same. You don’t look the same. You view the world a little differently. If you follow Jesus, you too are a foreigner in this world.

“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.” 1 Peter 2:11

Peter addresses the church as sojourners (someone passing through) and exiles (people driven from their homeland). It is difficult to grasp that you’re a foreigner when life is comfortable, normal. On the other end of the spectrum, suffering and brokenness in our lives lead us to cry, “This can’t be all there is!”. The word of God makes it clear that our citizenship lies elsewhere.

“But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.” Philippians 3:20-21

How does being a sojourner affect how we live? If you truly live as a sojourner and exile, your life will look different than those in the world.

Time and Money

As sojourners, we don’t spend our lives scrabbling for possessions, comfort, safety, and experiences for happiness. Christ gives us fullness of joy here and now through the Holy Spirit, but this life is not the end. In our true home, there will be no more sin, no more toil, no more tears. Striving will cease and we will be wholly perfect, body and soul. We will be with God! Marantha! We lose affection for the world and its pleasures when we remember that we’re just passing through.

Loving our neighbors

Jesus said that loving our neighbors as ourselves is God’s second greatest commandment (Matt. 22:39). It’s tempting to focus on our own lives, building personal, efficient, comfortable castles. However God doesn’t want us to hunker down until our time on earth is over. In the Gospels we see Christ’s example of going out and loving people with his time, abilities, and giftings. In the end, he sacrificed himself for us while we were still sinners (Rom. 5:8). As sojourners, we know our time is limited. We love fully with our hearts wide open, giving freely and sharing the good news that gives us hope at every opportunity.

Family

Our families are a gift from God. The Bible says that a man shall leave his mother and father to marry (Eph. 5:31), that a husband and wife should live in sacrificial love for one another (Eph. 5:22-33), and if the Lord gives children (biological or otherwise), we are to raise them up in the ways of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). However, families aren’t ultimate things. They are made of eternal souls, but we are not eternal units (contrary to what the LDS church teaches). There is no marriage in heaven (Matt. 22:30) and the only mention of sons and daughters in heaven are those of God. The only eternal unit is the Church (Eph. 5:25-27, Rev. 19:6-9).

By no means does this give us permission to neglect our families! God provides the framework for how we should function in our families (see above), and even says a man who doesn’t provide for his family is worse than an unbeliever (1 Tim. 5:8)! However, as we place our hope, let it not be in picture perfect families. May it be firmly be planted in the saving work of Christ that will one day deliver us to our true home, with God and our global family, the Church.

Until then…

Fellow sojourner, let’s run together this race set before us (Heb. 12:1-2), not merely as residents of our cities, counties, states, countries, or continents, but as daughters of God and citizens of heaven, with eyes set only and fully on him.

Mentoring and Making Disciples

Every Sunday at the end of our church service, our congregation reads the great commission together, Matthew 28:18-20. We are commanded to make disciples, baptize them, and teach them to obey the fullness of Jesus’ teaching. This discipling, or mentoring, is an important part of God’s design for us to grow to maturity. We see this dynamic modeled by Jesus, Paul, Peter, and others in the Bible who taught and trained other believers. This is not just a command for men and preachers; Paul has special instructions for the women.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

I am blessed to have three significant mentors in my life thus far.

My first mentor was my former pastor’s wife, K. We met after she spoke at a girls night at my college. It was through her God brought me to my home church. K taught me more than she’ll ever know. It didn’t happen over monthly lunches or a Bible study. Instead, lessons of truth and grace were passed on while washing dishes, rocking babies, and decorating for birthday parties. She emanated Christ in every corner of her life that she shared with me.

A couple, D&C, were my first ministry mentors. They are second to my parents in how much spiritual influence they had in my life. They were my supervisors, mentors, and friends. They taught me to expect big things from a big God! My faith grew exponentially as I watched them exercise their own faith and spur me on to do the same.

These mentors were God’s gift to me. As you explore how God has uniquely gifted you to build up the Body of Christ in this manner, consider these godly examples.

She let me in

K didn’t practice hospitality like American Christians are accustomed to; a couple hours chatting over dinner every few weeks. I spent every Sunday with her family during semesters, as well as many Friday and Saturday nights. My favorite memories of my time at college were in her home, hugging her sweet babies and sharing our hearts over the din. She later admitted that in the beginning it was difficult to allow a stranger into the day to day workings of her life. However she selflessly allowed me in.

One of the many things K taught me was that there is beauty and joy in the midst of the craziness. And her life was chaos! While I was in college, K’s family grew from two to six kids. In the midst of constant demands, lack of sleep, and being a pastor’s wife, she welcomed me into her life and let me see how God was working in her heart, marriage, and children.

They had high expectations

Remember the movies with all the interns getting coffee and picking up dry cleaning? D&C had none of that. They expected me to be a full fledged member of the team. They asked of me what they asked of everyone else. I’m immensely thankful they did. When speaking to other people who were in the same position under different leadership, I realized what a gift their high expectations were. I saw and did things by God’s grace that wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t been held to high expectations.

They didn’t give me answers

Many times a difficult quandary presented itself so I’d talk to D&C (usually over a cup of tea). To my chagrin, I never got a straight answer. They asked questions and walked me through the issue until I got to the answer on my own. They knew the answer all along (at least I assume they did), but by making me think my way through the issue, I understood why that was the answer. This was incredibly helpful as I encountered problems outside my theological and cultural boxes. I remember those lessons even now, years later.

They pushed me

I’m a risk adverse person. When doing something new, I want it all planned out and someone to hold my hand along the way. D&C encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone. They didn’t let me sit at status quo. They pushed me to think and act outside the box. However if I was struggling, they stepped in. If I asked for help, they’d give it!

Perfection not required

My mentors weren’t perfect. They were obedient in the ways God had equipped them to influence me and be examples of love and faithfulness. God used them in my life in profound ways. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without them.

Don’t be afraid to invite other women into your life. Show them the messy, difficult parts. Be willing to push and challenge them. They may go on to do greater things than you yourself are capable of! We are a family. Let’s spur one another one to become more and more like our precious Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Idol Factory

Tophet_Carthage.2
I stepped into a wooded area, flanked by ancient ruins. Sunlight dappled through the trees on the rubble, but I was far from restful. The quiet weighed eerily on me. The dirt path sloped gently downward, as if coaxing me down. At the bottom were several caves carved out of the rocky hillside. Shoebox size stone boxes littered the ground, stacked carelessly. These were the coffins of children sacrificed to an idol.

I stood in the ruins of a temple of Tanit, a Phonecian and Punic goddess of war and fertility, consort of Baal. I knelt beside a small stone box and ran my hand along the edges, heavy with grief. Around 20,000 urns containing the remains of children under the age of two years were deposited between 400 BC and 200 BC, continuing until the early years of Christianity. This idol thirsted for the blood of children.

If you’ve read the Old Testament, you know that God’s people have idol issues. From erecting the golden calf after coming out of Egypt, to habitually worshipping the fertility gods of Baal and Ashtoreth, God’s people turned from the great “I AM” to false gods far too easily and often. It’s no surprise then that this was the first of the ten commandments that God gave Israel:

“You shall have no other gods before me.” Exodus 20:2.

Yet humanity consistently shaped and worshipped stone and wood. These were gods they could see, touch, and manipulate. They didn’t want a God to tell them what to do. They wanted gods they could control. In the end, they themselves were their own god.

Sound familiar?

We are all idolators

If you asked me if I worshipped idols, I’d respond with an emphatic “No!”. However, if you could see my heart like God does, you’d discover that my heart itself is an idol factory. I can even make good things an idol. Food? Yep! Feelings. Check! Body image. Umhm. The list goes on. Jeremiah explains why:

The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it? Jeremiah 17:9

What does 21st century idolatry look like? Paul has the answer.

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming. Colossians 3:5-6

For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Ephesians 5:5

Idolatry is covetousness (Col. 3:5), yearning to possess something. Anything that we desire, love, or enjoy more than God is an idol. Like all sin, it is not something to be made light of. The penalty is the wrath of a perfectly holy and just God…eventually in the form of eternal torment in the lake of fire (Rev. 21:8). Like the desperate, deceived men and women who sacrificed their children to Tanit, idolatry is a way that leads to death (Prov. 14:12).

What are your desires? What do you yearn for? Where does your mind go when you’re stressed out for relief? What are you willing to spend your precious time and money on?

Take a moment to pray and ask God to reveal idols in your heart, or things that could possibly become idols. We must remain vigilant, sisters! When I was single, I desired to be married, but God hadn’t provided a husband. Every time someone said “You’re next!” or “You’ll be such a good wife” the Holy Spirit nudged my heart to remind me to put my hope in God, not marriage. If there’s something like this in your heart, share it with your accountability partner(s) so they can spur you on and help guard you against your own wayward heart.

Diagnose your yearning

When you look at your desires, do some diagnostics.

Don’t trust your heart (see Jeremiah 17:9). While self-reflection has its place, don’t land there. Our hearts are hard-wired to rationalize and justify our desires, not to pursue God.
Scour the Word. Read to understand what God has to say about your desire. It may be a sinful desire (adultery, revenge, impurity, etc). Repent, confess, and turn! It may be a good desire (marriage, children, ministry opportunity, etc) that God is waiting to give you, or may never give you. Obtaining a good desire in the wrong way is also idolatry (adultery, impurity, etc). Ask God to search your heart, try your thoughts, and lead you in the way that is everlasting (Ps. 139:23-24).
Confess and take heart. Over and over in the Old Testament God forgave his faithless people and kept his covenant with them. We walk under a new covenant, one paid for by the blood of Jesus Christ. His death and resurrection frees you from slavery from sin and idols of the the world and your heart. Submit your desires to him and ask him to transform them into his.

God is truly worthy of being our greatest and strongest desire! When we find our value, identity, and hope in him, he will overwhelm all our earthly desires. In the words of the old hymn,

“Turn your eyes upon Jesus, Look full in His wonderful face, And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, In the light of His glory and grace.”

Turn your Eyes upon Jesus – Helen H. Lemmel

Resources:

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/discerning-idolatry-in-desire

The Pit of Despair – Part 2

When Stranger Things became somewhat of a cultural phenomenon, I broke my no horror rule and watched it. The first season was torture. Every little glimpse of the monster had me on the edge of my seat. I had nightmares a few times and stopped watching it before I went to bed. It was killing me that I didn’t know what the monster was. “Just tell me!” I begged my husband, who had already finished the season. “If I know what the monster is I can handle it!”

I felt the same way about anxiety. If I could see it, examine it, understand it, I could get over it. However the more I probed it, the greater my anxiety grew. I didn’t understand this monster and it terrified me. I’m not alone. Women seem to especially struggle with worry and anxiety. What does God have to say to women who are stalked by this beast?

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?” Matthew 6:25-27

However when I was gripped by anxiety, it seemed God was simply saying in these verses, “Don’t feel this way”. That is far from the truth! God doesn’t want us to be anxious and worried. He wants us to be dependent on him for all things and walk in joy, no matter our circumstances. Below are some nuts and bolts of leaning on God as we struggle with anxiety.

Lament and Turn

I loved the Psalms since I was a little girl, but anxiety caused me to mine from their depths deep, raw truths. David faced much pain in his life, and his psalms of lament are full of emotion, raw, and unfiltered.

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day? Psalms 13:2-3

I am weary with my moaning; every night I flood my bed with tears; I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye wastes away because of grief; it grows weak because of all my foes. Psalms 6:6-7

I could honestly pray these psalms word for word. I was right there with David in the pit. But his eyes were turned upwards. After confessing his pain, confusion, and suffering, the Psalmist reaffirms his faith in God’s character and deliverance.

But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. Psalms 13:5-6

When we’re in the throes of anxiety, God doesn’t want us to pretend everything is ok. We can cry out to him and confess our weakness, frustration, and pleas for help. However, don’t camp out at lament. Turn to God and read his promises. His words may not feel true in that moment, but ask for faith to believe and trust that they are true.

Don’t follow your heart

Anxiety is physical. The heart racing, limb trembling, chest tightening, chill wracking beast can leap on you in the matter of second. As a woman who is wired to process things first by feeling, anxiety wrecked my baseline.

Looking back, I see God’s mercy. I relied on myself for far too long. Through anxiety, he taught me that we cannot make feelings the plumb line for our lives. Only God and his Word have that authority in the life of a believer! No matter what we feel, God’s Word is true. He’s always faithful. Read God’s promises. Memorize them. Sing them. Weep them. Plea with them. They may feel far off, but they are true. God is true to his Word and he never fails, even when we do (Psalms 73:26).

Flee to the Cross

In the end, allowing our thoughts dwell on worry and fear is a sin like any other. We are all fallen creatures, unable to attain the righteousness God requires. We’ve all fallen into the pit, stale dry bones, unable to raise ourselves out. Yet God does not leave us there. He comes down into the pit to bring us out. He breathes life into us, takes us in, mends us, restores us, and makes us his daughters. Oh, sweet, beautiful truth! We need not despair when we find ourselves wrestling with our darkest monsters. Our God is a warrior king! He sent Jesus Christ to destroy the serpent, the evil one who coaxed the rotting carcass of sin into this world. He crushes our sin through the power of his Spirit, and we are free to walk in newness of life! Amen!

In his presence

In the midst of a panic attack, my mom held me tight and rocked me like I was a child again. “You won’t feel this way forever.” She whispered. She was right, and God gives an even greater promise.

You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” Psalms 16:11

Because we are daughters of God, we are given the Holy Spirit (Eph. 1:13). We are in the presence of God every moment because of this remarkable gift. In God’s presence there is fullness of joy. Does your heart swell like mine when you read that? We find fullness of joy in the midst of life’s most difficult circumstances because God is with us. Praise him!

Resources:

https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/learning-to-lament-4-lessons-from-psalms https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/your-emotions-are-a-gauge-not-a-guide

Pit of Despair – Part 1

Anxiety. Even typing that word sends my stomach roiling. The mind racing, faith numbing, heart pounding monster. It brings waves of heat and shivers of cold. It lurks in the dark places of the heart, whispering urgency behind every fear.

I scoffed at it before, deeming those who struggled with this beast as weak in the faith. If only they prayed more or believed the gospel more fervently, their fears would melt away. But I didn’t understand it. I didn’t grasp the complete physicality of its grip, the terror of the mind and flesh that it sprung. I look back and hang my head. What callousness, what unkindness my words of advice must have been. I didn’t understand.

I descended in my pit of despair soon after I got back to America. I spent two years overseas and when I got back to the States, I felt completely out of place. My heart was in Africa, but my body was firmly planted in the arctic cold of a Minnesotan winter. I stayed with my family and struggled to keep my anxiety hidden. I wasn’t supposed to be afraid or sad. I was supposed to be happy! I should feel “normal” here, but I didn’t.

The monster ate away at me from the inside out. It began with an occasional racing pulse. I took deep breaths and went on. Things got worse. I couldn’t sleep. I dreaded the night because there was nothing to divert my thoughts. I fought for breath against my ever tightening chest. My mind raced and nothing would calm it. I’d lay in bed, listening to soothing music, willing my mind and body to relax. But no. I shook. I wept. Something was terribly wrong.

But what? Nothing was really wrong. Nothing bad had happened. No one had hurt me nor had I lived through a traumatic event. When people asked what I was anxious about, I had no words. I honestly didn’t know. The monster continued to stalk me.

I read my Bible. I devoured it. I spent hours reading. But the words didn’t make the anxiety go away. It worsened it. I’d read and feel nothing. My faith was numb. When I prayed, all I heard was static. I cried for help and heard nothing from God. I wept in prayer. I read David’s psalms through tear blurred eyes, begging for God to come and aid me. I thought I was going crazy. I had an annual physical, but didn’t go into details with my doctor on the extent of my issues. I didn’t want anti-anxiety medication to lull me into a daze. The feelings were drowning me, but I knew that if I didn’t face this now, it would only return later. I couldn’t even sing anymore. I sat in church and wept. And still. He didn’t relent.

God broke me. He shattered me into a thousand pieces. I had nothing to offer. My uncontrollable trembling hands were empty. Absolutely empty. And today, by his grace, I praise him for that dark valley. It was his great mercy that he tore down my idols of control, self-righteousness, and fear of man. And he taught me a priceless lesson.

In the suffering, he is there.

When I couldn’t speak, he was there. When I couldn’t sleep, he was there. When I couldn’t breathe, he was there. When I couldn’t believe, he was there. When I begged for him to relent and the anxiety persisted, he was there.

God gathered up all the shattered pieces and painstakingly pieced me back together. It took time. It took prayer. It took a lot of tears. One of my roommates, a remarkable woman of the faith, wept with me every night for a season, praying scripture, begging God to relent. God heard those prayers and answered them in his own perfect time. I went through counseling. I pressed into the community in my church and found support and accountability. In his perfect time and way, God relented.

I still struggle with anxiety. Sometimes it’s tied to anxious thoughts, but mostly it springs on me as I’m drifting off to sleep, jolting me awake. God is still working on me. Thank the Lord!

Psalms 16 was one of the passages of scripture that I read a lot in the pit. Every verse is full of rich, beautiful truths, but the first two verses sustained me.

Preserve me, O God, for in you I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.” Psalms 16:1-2

I prayed this countless times. I have no good apart from you. At the time it certainly didn’t feel true, but in the measure of grace God gave me, I was able to pray this in faith. I clung to this truth when my own mind and body were in tumult. He was there, and his words are true.

Slaves and Sons

The Antebellum period of southern American history has always intrigued me. However the idyllic utopia of plantations and southern charm is riddled with the rot of slavery. Among the numerous injustices and abuses, masters and other white males in authority sexually exploited slave women. Women often bore children from these unions and their mixed race children joined their mothers as slaves. These men faced no consequences for the sexual abuse of their slaves and they enslaved their own sons and daughters. This is absolutely unthinkable! Yet in this broken, depraved world, a child called his father “master” and was denied the status and love of sonship.

Praise be to God, this is not our fate with our heavenly Father!

For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, Romans 8:15-16

After teaching us that it is only through the power of the Spirit that we can kill our sin and find life (Romans 8:12-13), Paul roots us in our identity in Christ. This identity affects everything else in our lives, the way that we look at God, ourselves, and the world. Paul lays out these astounding truths:

We are no longer slaves. Our debts were paid (Romans 8:12) and our chains were loosed. If we are in Christ we are free from slavery to sin!
We’ve been adopted into God’s family. He didn’t have to adopt us. He could’ve saved us and left it there. However he chose to make us part of his family, giving us all the gifts, blessings, and inheritance of sonship, fellow heirs with Christ!
We can address him personally. This special relationship gives us access to God. A child scampers up into his father’s lap, fearless. Likewise, we don’t need rituals and special ceremonies to speak to the God of the universe. When we are in Christ, we have full and complete access through the blood of Jesus Christ.

Praise God! What a wonderful truth to face this broken world with. We are children of God, come what may.

Then Paul adds an uncomfortable condition.

…provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:17-18

It’s easy to talk about the blessings of our walk with Christ, but we miss crucial truths when we don’t soak in every piece of his counsel. Paul says that as children of God, we are heirs with Christ, provided that we suffer with him in order that we may be glorified with him.

Often we skim over this verse because it makes us uncomfortable. We don’t like the fact that suffering is part of the Christian life. We want ease. We want comfort. But we are not made for these things! We are made to display the breathtaking glory of God that shines through the darkest of suffering. Paul reminds us that any suffering we may face this side of eternity cannot compare to the glory that awaits us with God. All this toil, heartache, and tears, will melt away in the dazzling, glorious light of God when we see him face to face.

Sisters, suffering will come in this life. Don’t be afraid of it. Embrace the perfect counsel and sufficient promises of God and trusty that the same One who raised Christ from the grave is with you always, to the end of the age (Matt. 28:20).

Death Sentence

Sheep

I’d thought I was no stranger to death, but as they pinned a struggling, full grown sheep down on the tiles in the courtyard, my stomach turned. I’d barely finished my first week in North Africa when Eld Al Adha, the Holiday of Sacrifice came. Muslims around the country were killing and butchering sheep to commemorate the test of Abraham’s faith when he was commanded to sacrifice his son. I’d grown up on a hobby farm and learned early on that animals were a utility and not pets. We’d slaughtered chickens and turkeys, we sent our sheep to the butcher to meet their demise. But this…

The wooly creature let out a weak cry as the man of the house took small knife, deadly sharp, and uttered a blessing in Arabic. I still cringe as I remember the sound it made, slicing through the jugular vein, carotid artery and windpipe. The sheep struggled briefly, gave one last gurgling cry, then lay silent. Dead.

Death is ugly. It’s dark. You may have met death second hand as it took a loved one, or as it threatened you with disease or an accident. No matter where we find it, it’s abhorrent, and rightly so. Death came as a result of sin and the Fall. However Paul uses the analogy of death to help us understand what to do with our native, wretched flesh. Two words. Kill. It.

So then, brothers, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh. For if you live according to the flesh you will die, Romans 8:12

Have you ever been in debt (or are currently)? Remember making all the payments, shackled to the debt until it’s paid in full? Apart from Christ we are under the same slavery to our sin. But my sweet sisters take heart! We are no longer debtors to the flesh. God paid our debts and freed us from the shackles to sin. We are no longer are slaves, but beloved daughters of the King! Praise God!

If we live by the flesh…giving into our sinful thoughts, desires, and actions, we will die. But God doesn’t just give a death sentence. He gives us the means to overcome the flesh.

but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. Romans 8:13

What powerful, sweet words! God gives us the exact blueprint to we need to kill our sin.

“If” This is conditional. You have a choice, a part to play. It won’t happen by itself. It requires action!
“by the Spirit” What weapon does God put in our hands? The sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Eph. 6:17)! We can’t kill our sin on our own. By the Spirit is the only way we can put to death our flesh. Trying harder and doing more won’t cut it.
“put to death the deeds of the body” There’s a reason Paul uses such vivid language. Execution is brutal. It’s fatal, and our flesh is fighting tooth and nail to stay alive. Go to radical lengths to kill your sin! Do whatever it takes to walk in the light.
“you will live” Ah! Sweet promise! Like a rush of fresh air amid the carnage of battle. You will live. Jesus said he came so that we’d have abundant life (John 10:10). As his Spirit works to put to death our flesh, he gives us abundant life to live right now, with freedom and joy as we run our race (Heb. 12:1).

Sister, are you harboring a secret sin? If you, through the power of the Spirit don’t kill it, it will kill you. Don’t listen to the lies of the tempter, the hiss of rationalization and pride. Don’t hide away your sin in the dark places of your heart. Shine the light of the gospel on it! Confess it, repent and turn from it, then seek out a sister for accountability. Don’t continue to live according to the flesh. Step into the light! Romans 8:1 is a beautiful promise for messed up people like us. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Amen!

There is a delicate tension between the two ideas that we must actively strive to put our sin to death, and only the Holy Spirit has the power to actually kill our flesh. In Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, a beautiful analogy is given.

CHRISTIAN: Here is a poor burdened sinner who comes from the City of Destruction. But more importantly, I am going to Mount Zion [the Celestial City], so that I may be delivered from the wrath to come. Therefore sir, since I have been informed that the way to my destination is through this Gate, I would like to know if you are willing to let me enter.

GOOD-WILL: I am willing with all my heart. (And at that he immediately opened the Gate.)

Now as Christian was stepping through the Gate, he was quite surprised when suddenly, Good-will pulled him through.

Christian, the pilgrim on his journey to the Celestial City, is passing through the narrow gate, the moment of his salvation. He steps through willingly, but he doesn’t come in on his own strength. He is pulled through by the gatekeeper, Good Will, portraying Jesus Christ. What a beautiful picture of the balance between God’s sovereign power and our own feeble work. We must desire and strive to kill our sin to attain holiness at any cost. Yet, it is only the power of God that pulls us through and accomplishes it. Only God gets the glory from such a transaction, which is precisely his aim in creating us!

Mind Wars

Are you kidding me? I stared down at the overflowing trash that had been full when I’d left the house the day before. One year into marriage and it finally happened…a garbage showdown. I huffed in frustration as I stuffed all the loose garbage inside and tied up the bag, hauling it to the dumpster downstairs. I have to do everything around here. Grumble grumble grumble.

Enter flesh. Writers in the Bible refer to flesh in two ways, firstly as the literal term, the physical substance of bodies, and secondly, in spiritual terms, as sinful impulses. Paul says in Galatians 5:19-21,

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

You and I, like all mankind, are full of sin, fallen, unclean, and our desires are wicked and selfish. “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Rom. 3:23. Our biggest immediate and eternal problem is a sin problem. Paul laments in Rom. 7:24, “Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”

Thanks be to God! To him belongs salvation! God sent his Son Jesus to live a perfect life, die the death we deserve, and was raised again, defeating sin and death. By faith in his sacrifice alone our sins can be forgiven and we can be at peace with God. We can be new creations (2 Cor. 5:17). Our hearts of stone can be replaced with a heart of flesh (Ez. 36:26), dead to sin and alive to Christ (Rom. 6:11).

However, even as believers, we’re not completely free of our sin nature. Paul says in Romans 7:18,

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.

I relate so well to this. I don’t want to keep returning to my sinful habits, but I do. Over and over. However God doesn’t want us stuck in our endless cycles of sin! Paul reveals two competing forces…our flesh and the Spirit of God.

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Romans 8:5-8.

The key action to living, either by the flesh or by the Spirit is “setting your mind”. Our minds are set on the flesh automatically. We don’t have to think about it, it’s where our preset it. Setting your mind on the Spirit, however, is foreign, literally unthinkable to the carnal flesh. It takes effort. It takes discipline.

What is your mind set on? Do a quick inventory of your daily thoughts. Did you start this morning by tapping your facebook or instagram app, or your Bible? Are you meditating on God’s Word, or the latest episode of your favorite TV show? In the hectic moments of the day do you bank on getting a break, or rest in the promises of God that he is enough? In the quiet moments of the day, do you reach for distraction instead of prayer? If you’re anything like me, you’ve allowed your mind to fall back on the flesh half a dozen times in the first half hour of the day! But take heart, sisters!

You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him. But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness. If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you. Romans 8:9-11

What good news! If you follow Jesus, you have the Holy Spirit. You are in the Spirit and the Spirit dwells in you. Let that sink in a moment. The Spirit of God lives in you! You can’t live in sin and darkness with the very Spirit of the One who raised Jesus from the dead in you. God gives us life through the Spirit and it is only through the power of the Spirit that our sin is put to death.

A word of caution, sisters. In our walk with the Lord, we mustn’t be disillusioned with aspirations of reaching perfection this side of eternity. Even Paul, an Apostle and author of the majority of the New Testament, admitted that he wasn’t there yet.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:12-14

We pursue holiness because Christ has given us his. We seek righteousness because Christ has clothed us in his. We don’t strive for holiness in order to obtain salvation, but because we are saved, we seek to become more like Christ, setting our minds on the Spirit and killing our sin by his power. And one day, on the last day, we will be presented spotless and without blemish as the Bride of Christ to our great God! To him be the glory!

Application:

Ask God to reveal sin in your life. Confess, repent, and seek accountability, a sister who will ask hard question and walk by the Spirit with you.
Take courage from the truth in Romans 8:1. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Don’t let the guilt and shame of repented sin drag behind you. Walk in the knowledge that you are perfect and blameless in God’s sight if indeed you are his daughter.