desire – Kristi P. Powell

The Secret to Contentment

Are you content? Is your house big enough? Is your work meaningful enough? Are your children good enough? Does your spouse do enough? Do you have enough?

Contentment is an elusive term, and even more of a difficult attitude to cultivate. We can tell ourselves we are content all we want, but deep in our hearts dissatisfaction lurks. We want more.

Search for Satisfaction

To be content is to be satisfied with what one has and not want more or anything else (dictionary.com). Contentment is being thankful for what we have, not always on the lookout for what we don’t. The root of contentment is satisfaction, and when we seek it from the wrong place, we come up empty, dissatisfied, and wanting.

Dissatisfaction is universal, but we Americans are grossly guilty of it. As a culture, we are materialistic, spoiled, and demand the best in all things. “The American Dream” has long represented riches many only dream about. Yet we are still deeply discontent and always looking for the next thing, relationship, or experience to make us happy.

Christians aren’t immune to it either. Dissatisfaction leads us to move from church to church in search of the “perfect” experience. It leads us to gossip about our sisters and brothers to tear them down and build ourselves up. It leads us to jealousy and fake smiles when another receives something we long for. Dissatisfaction leads us to sin.

Paul’s Secret to Contentment

As in all things, Scripture provides us with the tools and knowledge to find and cultivate contentment. In Philippians, Paul thanks the church of Philippi for supporting him financially. However, amid his thanks, he gives us a beautiful nugget on contentment.

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
Phil. 4:11-13

Paul didn’t have a cushy life. In fact, much of the American Church would shrink away from the suffering that came with Paul’s obedience to the Lord.

Five times I received at the hands of the Jews the forty lashes less one.Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked; a night and a day I was adrift at sea;on frequent journeys, in danger from rivers, danger from robbers, danger from my own people, danger from Gentiles, danger in the city, danger in the wilderness, danger at sea, danger from false brothers; in toil and hardship, through many a sleepless night, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. And, apart from other things, there is the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches.
2 Cor. 11:24-28

How could Paul, after enduring all those things, say that he was content and satisfied? His secret to contentment is this:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.

God isn’t asking us to pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and muster up satisfaction all on our own. Like willpower, whatever satisfaction we conjure up for ourselves is fleeting. Popular self-help books tell us to “believe in ourselves” and “you are enough”. Scripture tells us this isn’t true. Only dependence on God and his strength will lead us to contentment in plenty and in need.

Our Ultimate Satisfaction

God offers himself as the key to our ultimate satisfaction and joy. He knew our deepest need, the need for a right relationship with him, and sent his Son Jesus to die on a cross for our sins. He defeated our greatest enemies, sin and death, to give us abundant life in Christ Jesus.

When we follow Jesus, his righteousness is transferred to us. We stand before God pure and clean, and he brings us into a relationship with him as a beloved child. Our greatest need is met in Jesus, therefore no matter what we face in this life, we can be satisfied and content. Our darkest day on earth is the closest we’ll ever get to hell. And not only that, but Paul goes on to say,

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.
Phil. 4:19-20

God is a good father who loves to give good gifts (Matt. 7:7-11). He will provide for your needs in his perfect time.

Fight for Contentment

The battle for contentment is difficult, but necessary for Christians. How do we fight? Consider these action steps if you’re struggling to capture elusive contentment:

Ask God to show you the root of your dissatisfaction.
Repent of any sin that is stemming from your dissatisfaction (control, unbelief, impatience, critical spirit, etc).
Remember the Gospel and rest in the knowledge that your deepest need has already been met in Jesus.
Pray and ask the Lord to give you his strength to find satisfaction and contentment in your current circumstances.
Memorize scripture to fight for contentment when your wandering heart tries to return to dissatisfaction.
Share with an accountability partner.

God loves you and wants to satisfy your heart-of-hearts in Jesus Christ. Don’t try to find contentment in your things, relationships, or experiences. He knows you. He loves you. He will satisfy you.

When Hope Hurts

I did it again. I worked on my Pintrest nursery board. I mentally counted the months and estimated the due date. I thought through how and when we’d tell our families. I imagined holding a tiny human with my husband’s eyes, listening to infant squeaks. But with familiar pangs in my empty womb came the lance of reality. No baby.

Hope is a beautiful thing, but what if hope becomes an enemy? What if, in this season of life, hope is cruel, risky, and unfulfilled? What do we do when hope hurts?

Hope is a feeling of anticipation and a desire for a certain thing to happen. This anticipation and its appeal is universal. Hope is the central agent of change in storytelling and great epics: Luke to the Rebellion, Frodo to the Fellowship, and Harry to the good wizards and witches.

Hope can affect our bodies as well as our minds. Researchers learned that hope can even alter neurochemistry, mimicking the effects of morphine by releasing endorphins and enkephalins to block pain (Jerome Groopman).

Hope in Scripture

Hope is a central theme of the Bible. In the Old Testament, the word hope is used eighty-eight times (ESV). Many of these passages express the anticipation of the Messiah and the fulfillment of God’s promises to Abraham and the Israelites. Job, a book centered on suffering, uses “hope” twenty-one times, and it appears twenty-eight times in the Psalms, a book in which the psalmist doesn’t shy away from expressing anguish, fear, and joy to God.

In the New Testament, we see the disciples’ hope that Jesus is the Messiah. Peter was one of the first to recognize Jesus was the Christ (Matt. 16:16). He promised to never deny him, and even to die with him (Matt. 26:33-35). Peter’s hope was so utterly crushed after denying Jesus three times, he wept bitterly (Matt. 26:75). Yet on the third day after Jesus’ death, Peter himself ran to the tomb and found it empty. Later Jesus appeared and restored him. Hope kindled. Hope lost. Hope restored. Hope fulfilled.

What do we do when we find ourselves pierced by hope like Peter, left broken and weeping bitterly?

Shift your Hope

In an oft repeated refrain, the psalmist writes,

“Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.”
Ps. 42:11

When hopes are dashed and all seems the darkest, hope in God. Hope, when placed in God, is an unquenchable beacon in the night. God will not fail us. His faithfulness knows no end. He is unchangeable, all powerful, sovereign, good, and just.

If our ultimate hope is in God and his provision in Christ to cover our sin, our darkest day on earth will be the closest we ever get to hell. Even when we see the whites of the eyes of the enemy and feel him breathing down our neck, we have unshakeable hope. We are in Christ, perfect and complete, made righteous and holy through the blood of the Lamb. Our hope is founded not in this world, but in the eternal Kingdom of God.

Don’t Lose Heart

Do you hope for rest? “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matt. 11:28-30).

Do you hope for peace? “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6-7).

Do you hope for joy? “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore” (Ps. 16:11).

Do you hope for restoration? “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you” (1 Peter 5:10).

Do you hope to be rid of your flesh? “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” (Phil. 1:6).

Dear one, do not lose heart. God knows and sees the hope that hurts you. Don’t put your hope in temporary things. Rest in your ultimate hope, the Lord, and bask in the assurance that his hope will never be foiled or disappointed. We will one day be with him.

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Romans 15:13

What God hasn’t Promised

During seasons of disappointment and struggle, we can take great comfort in the promises of God. He promises salvation through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. He promised to do and finish the work of sanctification. He promised to never leave us through the deposit of the Holy Spirit.

However there are some things that aren’t promised in the Bible, specifically marriage and children. If you’re struggling with one of these, or know someone who is, you know the ache and brokenness of these unfulfilled desires.

In the Bible we are told that Jesus, Paul, and others were unmarried. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 7 that marriage divides your affections between your spouse and God, but a single man or woman is only concerned about pleasing God.

There are multiple references to barren women (Sarai, Rebekah, Hannah, Elizabeth), and Prov. 30:16 even describes Sheol (hell) as a barren womb. However every Christian can reproduce spiritual children in making disciples. Paul refers to Timothy as a true child in the faith (1 Tim. 1:2).

Good Desires

Both marriage and children are blessings and good desires. Having a good desire is not a sin, but trying to fulfill that desire outside of God’s good boundaries, we fall into idolatry and sin.

C.S. Lewis said in Screwtape Letters “Never forget that when we are dealing with pleasure in it’s healthy and normal and satisfying form, we are, in a sense, on the enemy’s ground”. This fictional demon communicates to his underling an important truth: Satan can’t create pleasure and joy in and of himself, he can only twist God-given desires and pleasures.

Porn and adultery twists the pleasure and intimacy of sex created for marriage. Gluttony morphs enjoying God-given food with God-created tastebuds into worshipping our stomach. Making a spouse and/or children an idol twists these good gifts into destructors of our souls.

**What God has Promised**

Whenever anger begins to seep into our thoughts and prayers about an unfulfilled desire, we must immediately reevaluate our hearts. Anger and discontentment are a symptoms that our joy comes not from Christ, but from the things we expect him to give us.

If we desire a spouse or child more than God, we are idolators. Our hope must be fully and firmly planted in Christ Jesus. On our darkest, hardest days, we can fling all my weight on this promise of God:

“Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”
Romans 10:9

This is must be our ultimate anchor. This promise is sure and beautiful. Because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, I am saved from my sin and will spend eternity in a resurrected, sinless body with God.

We are also promised everything we need to holy and walk in faithfulness. What a gift!

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.
2 Peter 1:3-4

Some may not marry. Some may remain childless. But there is coming a day when we will pass into the glory of God in the blink of an eye, and this light momentary suffering will fall away in the beautiful weight of glory that awaits those who follow Jesus (2 Cor. 4:16-18).

Photo by Tom Swinnen from Pexels